ANTI-MAGNETIC ARCHETYPE #7
THE POSER
"First impressions are everything"
Working overtime to curate the perfect image and put your best face (and feed) forward, you spend most of your time worrying about how you're being perceived. Whether mimicking 'industry standard' looks or intentionally rebelling as a statement, the common thread is focusing on appeal rather than authenticity—believing masks are required for magnetism instead of true expression.
...it's likely The POSER has a lot of "pull" right now, and is costing in more ways than you may realise.
→ Trying to "look the part" by doing things by industry standards (the other extreme)
→ Worried that if you show the real you, you won't look professional or trustworthy
→ More likely to invest in a brand photoshoot than content strategy
→ Spending more time worrying about your aesthetics than your message
→ Trying to "look the part" by doing things by industry standards (the other extreme)
→ Worried that if you show the real you, you won't look professional or trustworthy
→ More likely to invest in a brand photoshoot than content strategy
→ Spending more time worrying about your aesthetics than your message
IF You'RE:
Signs The POSER is running the show
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL
A life playing a part you thought you had to play in order to be liked and respected, when in fact, you were robbing people of the magic of your truest self, while robbing yourself of the chance to be seen fully for who you are and loved for all of it, imperfections and "weaknesses" include. This is a life that looks good on paper, great on an Instagram feed, and yet feels hollow because your soul isn't allowed the expression it came here for.
Never fully expressing your authentic self
THE COST TO YOUR BEING
The risk here is operating at a superficial level, focused on performative leadership tactics, and doing whatever you can to look confident and important. Maybe it's a new wardrobe and a LinkedIn makeover. Or a fancy looking slide deck and embossed business cards. Maybe you love throwing around "leadership terms" you learned in books or podcasts. The point is, you're not getting your hands dirty and doing the work that will allow you to gain the genuine respect of those you lead -- because that would involve stepping into unknown territory and risking looking a little silly.
Looking the part but never feeling the part
THE COST TO YOUR LEADERSHIP
One of the most tragic costs to your brand is that no matter how gorgeous your feed, how on-point your graphics, how carefully curated your message... it will never reveal the most magical parts of you. The messiness, the quirks, the natural gifts you take for granted. Nope, all of it gets filtered out in favour of polish and "professionalism", which also means a lack of magnetism, resonance and "stickiness". Never giving you the chance to attract people who value who you are -- and not just what you do.
Getting plenty of claps, but not enough clients
THE COST TO YOUR BRAND
The biggest cost your business will be the lack of depth and uniquness you've allowed yourself to develop due to focusing so much on the superficial packaging of it, and of doing all of the things that make you "look" legitimate on social media, at the cost of focusing on the behind the scenes work that will change both your clients lives and your own as you move from performative leadership to embodied service.
All show and very little service (or sales)
THE COST TO YOUR BUSINESS
(NOT SO)
THE HIDDEN COSTS OF OPERATING FROM THIS ARCHETYPE
NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS
THE POSER'S MAGNETIC POTENTIAL
The Poser's patterns are simply the unhealthy expression of the natural strengths you were born with. And once we become conscious of them, they can be transformed into a higher expression that puts an end to the "self-sabotage" (in quotations because this is actually just a form of self-protection) and becomes a part of your toolkit for success.
THE GIFTS HIDING IN THE SHADOW OF THE POSER
You have a natural eye for aesthetics and an ability to shape-shift so you can resonate with the right people at the right time. And these gifts can be leveraged to curate experiences, to tell stories, and to create things that appeal to the people they're designed to reach. Where this gift becomes a curse is when we're stuck in the energy of trying to overcompensate for our insecurities or being too caught up with how people perceive us. However, when you can connect to your bigger why, get into your heart, and remember who you're doing this for, you can use your gifts in service of the whole.
SACRED GIFT
AUTHENTICITY
CURATION
STRENGTH
MASKING
SHADOW
YOUR ALCHEMICAL MAP
We fall into the shadow when we're operating from fear and doubt, but it's just the other side of the coin to the strength, which we already have within us. The real magic though? It's in accessing the sacred gift, which we earn with time and through alchemising these shadow patterns.
The outward expression of all you are, this is what most think of as personal branding, as it's about how you choose to position and package yourself in the outside world, from what you wear to how your website is designed.
Harder to measure, but easy for others to sense, this is your energy, your vitality, that spark people feel when you walk into a room (or the dark cloud, depending on your mood). This energy gets poured into all of our interactions AND our creations, so it's essential to your magnetism.
How you're showing up in the world. The actions you're taking (or not) the habits you've adopted (whether they're helpful or not) and the way you express yourself. Our actions can change our reality including how we feel, so it's next in line.
Your belief systems and the stories you hold about everything -- from yourself and your own potential, to other people, to how the world works. Our thoughts manifest as reality, so until our beliefs align with our desires, we'll struggle.
Your literal foundations: who you are, how you were built, the state of your nervous system, and the way you naturally see and experience the world. If we don't understand these things or let them get out of whack, everything else falls apart!
FROM POSER TO CREATIVE CURATOR
Magnetism isn't some switch you flick on. It's created from 5 different sources that are all essential parts of you. And since one impacts the next, you can think of this as your "Magnetic Hierarchy of Needs". I'll quickly explain what they are before diving into tailored recommendations for each of these areas specific to The Poser.
To heal the pattern of The POSER and step into its highest expression as The CREATIVE CURATOR, we must work from the Inside Out.
CROSSING THE THRESHOLD
YOUR MAGNETIC MAKEUP
YOUR MAGNETIC MYTHOLOGY
YOUR MAGNETIC M.O.
YOUR MATERIAL MAGNETISM
YOUR MAGNETIC MOXIE
SO NOW YOU KNOW THE LINGO, LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT IT TAKES TO GO FROM POSER MODE TO CREATIVE CURATOR ENERGY!
Magnetic Makeup
So I want you to imagine that this more authentic and vulnerable version of you is incredibly shy and needs to take baby steps.
Can you identify an environment where it feels safe to start to show a new side of you? If not, it might be time to create one - whether that's online or in person.
LAYER ONE:
Magnetic Mythology
We need to identify whether this is being done to avoid rejection, to compensate for a fear of inadequacy, or something else.
Can you think of a time earlier in life when you learned that "being yourself" wasn't ok or safe?
LAYER TWO:
Magnetic M.O.
What supposed "flaws" are you regularly editing out? Is it your sillyness? Your weird hobbies or quirks? Your love of emojis or exclamation points? Your preferred way of dressing? Maybe it's your story, your vulnerabilities or your emotions.
Next time you sit down to create, ask yourself what's missing and try to add it back in.
LAYER THREE:
Magnetic Moxie
This week, create a visual mood board, a written manifesto, or a playlist (whatever calls to you) that helps you tune in to your natural essence.
What gets you fired up? What are the different facets of you? Use this as a North Star before you sit down to create anything and see what kind of energy it allows you to infuse your work with!
LAYER FOUR:
Material Magnetism
So you need to start by defining it to yourself.
What does authenticity mean in terms of visuals, messaging and how you share?
What might help you create more trust & connection with your audience (or clients or team) and where is it just over-sharing?
LAYER FIVE:
Build Up Your Baseline
Shift Your Story
Align Your Action
Elevate Your Energy
Bridge Your Brilliance
YOUR PERSONAL ROADMAP
While this magnetic hierarchy of needs is universal, what's required to break you out of your own patterns and activate your highest potential is unique. Tap on the orange arrows to view your personal magnetism prescription.
MAGNETIC MAKEUP
It's important to understand that your need to perfectly curate your image and wear your professional "mask" was done out of self-protection. And trying to immediately drop it or change how you show up can be very activating for your nervous system. So I want you to imagine that this more authentic and vulnerable version of you is incredibly shy and needs to take baby steps. Can you identify an environment where it feels safe to start to show a new side of you? If not, it might be time to create one - whether that's online or in person.
BUILD UP YOUR BASELINE
MAGNETIC MYTHOLOGY
This can be one of the most challenging archetypes to "crack" because there are often layers of beliefs that are all contributing to our need to "put our best face forward". (In fact, I talk all about it in this episode of my podcast and include some more contemplation prompts!) We need to identify whether this is being done to avoid rejection, to compensate for a fear of inadequacy, or something else. Can you think of a time earlier in life when you learned that "being yourself" wasn't ok or safe?
SHIFT YOUR STORY
MAGNETIC M.O.
Often when we try to look professional and create an appealing brand, we over-compensate by erasing a lot of what makes our work unmistakable and magnetic. Remember that what makes a diamond unique is its flaws! What supposed "flaws" are you regularly editing out? Is it your sillyness? Your weird hobbies or quirks? Your love of emojis or exclamation points? Your preferred way of dressing? Maybe it's your story, your vulnerabilities or your emotions. Next time you sit down to create, ask yourself what's missing and try to add it back in.
ALIGN YOUR ACTIONS
MAGNETIC MOXIE
Authenticity - us being completely true to ourselves in the moment, without a filter - is undeniably magnetic (scientists have even studied it!) So it's time to redefine what YOU think makes you magnetic and start to tap into the true source of your magnetism: your energy. This week, create a visual mood board, a written manifesto, or a playlist (whatever calls to you) that helps you tune in to your natural essence. What gets you fired up? What are the different facets of you? Use this as a North Star before you sit down to create anything and see what kind of energy it allows you to infuse your work with!
ELEVATE YOUR ENERGY
MATERIAL MAGNETISM
We often desire to "be more authentic" in our brands, but it's not easy to achieve because what even IS authenticity... and how much of it is helpful (even strategic) and how much of it could actually work against your goals? So you need to start by defining it to yourself. What does authenticity mean in terms of visuals, messaging and how you share? What might help you create more trust & connection with your audience (or clients or team) and where is it just over-sharing?
