You decide it’s time. To stop being your industry’s best kept secret. To stop undervaluing what you bring to the table. To stop making excuses to keep hiding in plain sight. You’ll put yourself out there, share your brilliance, build a magnetic personal brand. Yes! 🙌🏼
…Except then the reality kicks in.
“Who am I to be doing this?”
“Why would anyone care what I have to say?”
“I don’t want to look stupid — I’d better do this right”
Cue the over-thinking, obsessive researching, planning & re-planning.
Oh, and let’s not forget the doom scrolling where it seems like your entire feed is confirming that there is zero space for someone like you to start sharing. It’s already noisy out there, there are countless experts in your space who are infinitely more polished, confident and articulate than you. What’s the point of even trying??
⏸️ Pause!
If this is resonating so far, I just want to take a second to acknowledge you and let you know that this doubt is… a) completely normal b) a sign you’re human, not a robot (yay!) and c) not easy to deal with — so please be kind to yourself. At least keep reading so I can provide some insights that might help you ease off the self-judgement! 😉
⏯️ Now, back to the originally scheduled programming…
In this article I’m going to cover the following:
- The real reason deciding to work on becoming more visible can trigger all sorts of self-doubt and existential crises
- Why it’s really important you don’t look for ways to bypass this doubt by trying to – what I like to call – “outsource your magnetism”
- And what it takes to genuinely overcome this inevitable fear and take meaningful steps towards building a magnetic, visible personal brand
And while this was written for anyone struggling with personal branding & visibility related struggles, it will be especially helpful if you’re identify with/as of the following:
- An entrepreneur trying to get up the courage to be the face of your business
- A leader by title but who aspires to take the thought leadership path
- Aware that your lack of personal brand is holding you back professionally
- Wanting to establish yourself as an authority in your space
- Have (gulp) aspirations of being a thought leader, despite all the imposter syndrome
So with all of that context setting, let’s dive in.
PART ONE
Why visibility is so damn scary (and why “Just get over yourself and hit publish!” is terrible advice)
This section is going to be short because the root cause of all over-thinking, perfectionism, imposter syndrome and other types of self-doubt is simple: it’s fear.
To consider “putting yourself out there” in some way, by sharing your perspective, telling your story or even simply posting some photos that show more of your personality all make us vulnerable to one of the universal core wounds which is fear of rejection.
When I first decided to start my YouTube Channel the majority of people assumed it would be easy for me because of my background as a professional actor. Yet that couldn’t be further from the truth.
It was terrifying.
I would break into a cold sweat every time I prepared to it publish.
Receiving negative feedback (whether rooted in truth or coming from a troll) made me physically ill.
And despite it looking like I was sharing my real personality, for years, I wore a mask to keep me safe. Avoiding true vulnerability and hiding parts of my story which only added to my impostery feelings and fear of being caught out for the fraud I thought I was.
Sure, delivering my script confidently was easier thanks to my acting experience. But what most people didn’t realise was that on stage in front of 2000 people, I still felt safer than I did sharing a video that would receive 200 videos. Because on stage I was playing someone else. Any criticism on my performance could be blamed on the script, the director’s choices, my acting ability… but not who I was as a person.
Negative comments on YouTube, however? They cut to the core of who I was. It felt like if someone didn’t like a video, they didn’t like ME.
It’s not just about the negative feedback either. Even the exact things we desire – lots of organic reach and tons of positive engagement – can still activate our nervous systems and leave us feeling a huge range of emotions.
I was just speaking to a client who hit publish on her first “real” (intentional & strategic) LinkedIn post has been received incredibly well and reached far more people than the average post tends to reach. While she’s feeling proud of what she’s managed to achieve (in particular, overcoming fear and hitting publish!) she’s feeling vulnerable, shaky, terrified and a bunch of other things all at once.
We’re all merely and magnificently human
No matter how experienced or qualified you are, no matter how articulate or confident on camera… behind all of those skills and experience is a vulnerable human being. Someone who was once a kid who likely knows how it feels to be teased, bullied or alientated.
And when we decide it’s time to share our perspectives and ideas online, to be more authentic about our expression, to share our story in the hopes of inspiring others… that young version of us becomes hyper aware that we’re at risk of opening ourselves up to criticism and rejection.
So what does our fear-driven ego do as soon as it senses that risk? It goes into overdrive, looking for ways to avert that risk.
Some of its favourite techniques include…
- Logical arguments as to why now isn’t the best time for us to take action
- Comparisonitis disguised as “research” that convinces us we’re not good enough
- Procrastination posing as perfectionism that says (thing) isn’t quiiiite ready to publish
- Elaborate plans that will send us down all sorts of rabbit holes leading to overwhelm
…And this can happen even after you’ve done the brave thing like my client and started to put yourself out there. My ego attempts stunts like this regularly in fact.
Having worked as a personal branding coach for more than 5 years, I’ve spotted one technique in particular that particularly sneaky because it looks like meaningful progress, when in fact, it fails to help us overcome the fear underneath it all.
PART TWO
The rise of “personal brands in a box”
That inevitable discomfort of feeling vulnerable can also lead us to question whether we have the skills or ability to even execute our hypothetical plans. Then, amplified due to the pressure we put on ourselves to NOT look silly/unprofessional/weird, we may come to the conclusion that we need to employ the help of an expert to prevent any potentially career/reputation destroying moves.
Cue: the rise of the personal branding agency/consultancy. Aka the people who promise to remove all the overwhelm, confusion and scary stuff out of the process of building a personal brand.
On the surface, this looks like the perfect solution, right? As long as you have the money to invest, you can bypass all the fear, all the skills gaps, all the uncertainty, and actually guarantee you can show up in a way that paints you in a positive light. And in some cases, this might be exactly what you need.
But in most cases, what you walk away with is a pretty PDF telling you all about your supposed personal brand, and you’re still left with the same imposter syndrome, overwhelm and terror that keeps you from doing anything with said PDF. In other words, you continue hiding, even if you managed to give your LinkedIn profile a makeover based on the recommendations you were given.
So let’s talk about why it’s not actually possible to outsource your magnetism or pay an expert to magically make you feel like a thought leader.
A personal brand “strategy” won’t address the fear you’re feeling
Sure, having a nice colour palette and visual guidelines, more clarity on your elevator pitch, and even some killer brand photos can give you a confidence boost. It certainly helps when your biggest issue is that you feel your online presence doesn’t reflect
who you are and all the value you know you have to offer.
But all of that fear of rejection stuff or that pesky imposter syndrome that makes you question whether anyone would want to hear what you have to say? It takes a lot more than a professional brand identity to overcome. But we’ll talk about exactly what does help in the final section of this piece, so hang tight.
Building a personal brand requires ongoing action
That whole “build it and they will come” concept? Proven to be BS in just about every context. Visibility, audience growth and trust building doesn’t happen by accident. It’s developed gradually – earned – over time. Now that may be obvious in terms of audience building, but what very few realise is that it also applies to developing your ideas.
Ideas grow in value over time. Through nurturing them, refining them, giving them meaning – through your own lived experience or by connecting it to what your audience finds meaningful – and by embodying them. And until you start sharing your ideas with the outside world (and therefore creating a powerful feedback loop) your ideas will never have the chance to reach their full potential.
This is why a personal brand strategy is worth very little on its own. It’s your ability to action it, express it and embody it that brings it to life and allows it to amplify your magnetism. Otherwise, it’s just some words on a document.
Magnetism is created from the inside out
What’s somehow most obvious and yet most easily forgotten is that a personal brand isn’t a “thing” like a product or business. It doesn’t exist apart from you… is IS you. So rather than seeing it as something that can be created (it can’t be – you’re already alive, right?) I want you to try to visualise it instead like the process of a rose bud slowly blooming.
Sure, roses require sun, quality soil and water. But you can’t growth hack a rose. You’re not going to make it more beautiful by adorning it with gems or ribbons. A rose’s growth is inevitable if it’s cared for properly and given enough time. And it’s beauty – while already existing “inside” – is revealed as its petals open up.
What makes you brilliant and interesting and unique and magnetic all lives inside you right now. And try as they might, personal branding agencies and consultants are rarely able to capture the essence of you. Even if they manage to bottle a little of it, it’ll never come close to all you have to offer if you give yourself the chance to develop the ability to share it.
So let’s get practical now and break down what “inside out” actually looks like.
PART THREE
Inner Magnetism vs Outer Magnetism
The first thing we need to understand is that how the world experiences and perceives you is based on what you “put out there”. Your face, your vice, your brand assets, photos, website, content etc. It’s the magnetism most people associate with personal branding as it ultimately involves all the pretty stuff. All of these touch points are what I refer to as Outer Magnetism.
Outer magnetism tends to be the first people jump to thinking about and working on when they decide to build a personal brand or business. Probably because that’s the magnetism we first notice when we’re looking at other peoples’ brands. But if we really look carefully at which brands we’re drawn to vs the ones we barely notice, the common thread isn’t the visual aesthetic. There are plenty of un-magnetic brands with gorgeous visuals. It’s that the visuals are a direct extension of that person’s natural magnetism. Amplified thanks to strategy, intention and – in just about all cases – years of refinement.
Take it from someone who’s spent years developing (and iterating) her brand as well as more than 10 years helping clients build theirs. The clients who end up being able to generate the most magnetism didn’t always have the most “sexy” visual brand, but what they did was put in the time developing their own personal magnetism along with getting super clear on their mission and ideal audience, which allowed them to develop a magnetic message^ over time that resonated powerfully with the right people.
^ The messaging piece deep dive I’ll save for a separate article, however, because otherwise this one will turn into War & Peace!
The 5⁵ sources of inner (aka personal) magnetism
Source #1: Your Makeup
Your Makeup is the blueprint for brilliance you were born with. Your natural traits, abilities & strengths. Your tendencies and preferences. Even your motivations and deeper sense of purpose (which may alude you for now, but trust me, is in there waiting to be discovered!) Basically all of the ingredients that create the unique cocktail of you.
We dampen our magnetism by trying to be something we’re not. By focusing solely on strengthening our “weakenesses” instead of leveraging our existing gifts or beating ourselves up about our perceived limitations, flaws and “achilles heels” seeing it as some sort of failure on our part. And we keep a lid on our potential when we lack the self-awareness around what those gifts even are and what we’re uniquely built to offer the world.
But every single aspect of us was created by design, and as we become more self-aware and self-compassionate, we learn how to access the gifts in these shadows. So a huge part of the process of accessing this source of magnetism is about self-awareness: who are you, what are you feeling called to do/share with the world, and what tools already exist in your toolkit?
This is why I love things like Human Design and The Gene Keys that provide maps to help us understand our natural tendencies and become familiar with any negative patterns so we can take control of the steering wheel rather than letting them run on autopilot, thus making us victims of our lives rather than the authors of them.
But the other side of this element of magnetism is about ensuring we even have access to these gifts as well as the internal compass that’s crucial to our ability to navigate the world in an aligned way. As long as we’re disconnected from our body, operating from survival, or outsourcing our authority to others, we’re immediately cutting ourselves off from our natural brilliance. So the other part of this process is about becoming a grounded and embodied leader who’s operating as the authority of their own life.
Source #2: Your Mythology
Your Magnetic Mythology is comprised of the (often unconscious or subconscious) thoughts, beliefs & internal narratives that shape how you see the world, see yourself and connect you (or not) to your sense of purpose/mission. In other words, this is like your magntism control desk.
Our mythology is where we tend to discover 80% or so (the rest of them live in our bodies aka Makeup) of those invisible blocks that seem to keep us from being able to take aligned action as it’s what keeps us looping in protective patterns. So from visibility blocks to financial abundance limitations or even boundary issues with clients, when we’re wanting to level-up in any way, Mythology is where we need to direct a lot of our attention.
The good news is that our Mythology isn’t fixed in place. Not all of it is changed easily, but with time and intention (not to mention powerful tools & modalities like neural reprogramming, parts work, EMDR and Schema coaching), all elements of our Mythology can be shifted and molded to better suit us and the lives we’re feeling called to live.
Since your Mythology is what shapes your perceptions of yourself and the world around you, it is a huge determinant in your Moxie (how you feel and in turn, the energy you emanate) as well as your M.O. (the actions you take, the habits you maintain, the way you choose to express yourself with the world). But it is also going to influence how you see and interact with your Makeup — the gifts you value (or not) in yourself and the way you choose to treat your body.
Hopefully you’re already starting to see why no amount of brand strategy or design can compensate for a lack of personal magnetism. And even if you get someone to create those for you, they’ll only ever be able to reflect how magnetic you currently feel right now, and won’t magically be able to create magnetism where there is none!
Source #3: Your Moxie
Now we arrive at the source of your energetic magnetism. Your Moxie is very much about feeling—how you feel within you and how that in turn is expressed outward, not through what you say or do but by how you be. It’s responsible for those experiences when you feel drawn to someone and say things like “I just love their vibe” or “That’s my kind of person”, even if that person didn’t say anything specific to make you feel that way.
Our Moxie will naturally ebb & flow as while it’s mostly created from within, it can also be influenced by external factors (in particular, the events happening in the world around us and the collective energy as a whole). For those on a more spritual path, you might see that Moxie is about your vibration or frequency. But you don’t need to be spiritual to know that peoples’ energy speaks volumes about them, before they’ve opened their mouths.
People feel and are affected by your Moxie when you’re in conversation with them, when they’re seeing/hearing you speak (live or pre-recorded, doesn’t matter!) and it even comes through in your written content – from social posts to blog articles and even casual emails.
The thing with your Moxie is it’s dynamic. It’ll be a bit different every day depending on how you’re feeling. It’s not your mood – though your mood will effect it. It’s the vibration or frequency you’re giving off. And this can happen unintentionally (fluctuating depending on how you feel in any moment) or you can become a master of your own Moxie by developing practices that raise your own vibration so that it stays in resonance with what you desire.
One of the most important things to know about your Moxie is that it is far more influential than Material Magnetism, in that when it’s it can help “override” any flaws or gaps in your Material Magnetism as long as your Moxie’s at a high level. Obviously, the 2 of them working together is what unlocks your true magnetic potential. But in those early stages of development, you’ll get a far better ROI on the work you do increase your Moxie than what you do with your Material Magnetism as the latter can only be truly effective when you’ve reached a high enough level with your Moxie & your M.O. since it’s designed to be an extension or “outward expression” of your inner magnetism… not something that’s created from nothing.
Source #4: Your M.O.
We’re now onto the most outward focused pieces of your inner magnetism. You might even see these as the bridge between inner and outer magnetism. Your Magnetic M.O. (Modus Operandi) is the distinctive way you show up, communicate, and lead. It’s shaped by the unique mix of skills, tendencies, and expressive style you’ve honed over time—and how effectively you wield them to make a meaningful impact.
In other words, your M.O. becomes more magnetic the more you work at it. And/also, the more you do the work that allows you to express yourself freely & authentically, which is only partly to do with skills development and has much more to do with the inner work of unblocking, pattern breaking, self-esteem building etc.
While your Makeup provides natural “creative confines” for your M.O. it’s how you think about the world and yourself (your Mythology) and how you feel about the world and yourself (your Moxie) that unlock the true magnetic potential of your M.O. because it’s only in part “what you have” and the rest is what you do with it… as they say 😉
TL;DR – Your Magnetic M.O. helps you:
- Refine your unique communication style across platforms and formats
- Develop the skill and confidence to “show up” in a powerful, authentic way
- Become known for the value you bring—not just the volume of your output
- Lead with resonance, not just expertise
- Transform experience into thought leadership
- Build a body of work and style of expression that’s unmistakably yours
A quick reflection before we bring this home: All of the above 4 sources of magnetism require your involvement to activate them and access your full magnetic potential. We all have a current baseline for each of these and until we commit to putting in the work, we won’t start to increase that baseline. Which is why the final source of personal magnetism is actually an amplifier rather than a source in its own right.
Source #5: Your Motion
Magnetic Motion is about aligned, intentional action—the kind that doesn’t just get things done, but actually moves you forward (to where you want to go and who you want to be) in a way that feels sustainable, energizing, and true to who you are.
This isn’t about staying busy or checking off to-dos. Motion becomes magnetic when it’s backed by integrity, driven by purpose, and executed with presence. It’s the energy behind your actions that matters most—whether you’re creating, building, refining, or resting. And it’s in the doing that clarity emerges. With every aligned choice, you strengthen your inner compass, gain feedback, and stretch your capacity.
Magnetic Motion is also what sustains progress across your entire system: it allows for the expression your message (M.O.), the movement of creative impulses (Makeup), the embodiment of your energy (Moxie), and the anchoring of new belief systems (Mythology). At its core, Motion is what allows your ideas to become reality.
So how do you determine what Magnetic Motion is required? That sense of direction can come from our internal guidance system (something we develop as part of our Magnetic Makeup work) and it can also be guided by our external strategy (Magnetic Means, Model & Material Magnetism – topics for another article!)
IMO, the 2 most powerful ways to stick with Magnetic Motion are:
- Magnetic Habits. The handful of habits/practices/routines you commit to doing on a daily (or regular) basis that you know help you tap into the magnetic potential of your 4 other sources of magnetism
- Running Magnetism Experiments. Where for a fixed timeline, you’ll test out a hypothesis by committing to doing 1 thing differently (or introducing 1 new thing to your strategy) and tracking the results to decide if it has long term potential.
Which all naturally leads to… Material Magnetism
We finish with what’s not actually a source of magnetism, but an amplifier of it. Because when it comes down to it, Material Magnetism is really only here to do a few things:
- Provide the packaging that helps make for the best possible first impressions
- Ensure you’re able to be found in the right places by the right people
- Build a bridge (in the form of messaging) between your ideal audience and you
- Establish trust through evidence of your experience & authority
- Amplify all the magnetism inside you, outward
Thing is, without those other 5 sources, Material Magnetism falls flat. It’s like an empty, lifeless shell. But when your Material Magnetism is the natural extension of all that personal magnetism you’ve been cultivating, it’s like a power up.
What’s more: when you’ve laid all the foundations for those 5 sources of magnetism and you’re naturally building momentum through Magnetic Motion, Material Magnetism becomes an inevitable byproduct. Or at least, it does with a little bit of strategy.
Because at this point, you know what makes you uniquely valuable. You’ve found your voice and know how to express yourself uniquely. There’s nothing getting in the way of your authentic expression, regardless of whether you’re recording a video, speaking on stage or replying to an email. And the more you tap into your personal sources of magnetism, the more fuel you’ll give to the fire that is your Material Magentism.
In other words, Material Magnetism is the cherry on top of a delicious sundae (or cake, depending on your preferences!)
SUMMARY
Let’s bring it home, shall we?
It’s been a long time since we embarked on this journey together. So long that you may no longer remember where we started. If that’s the case, here are the Cliff’s Notes and some reflection prompts to help make this read worth your while.
Cliff’s Notes: You can’t “buy” magnetism or outsource your personal brand
- When you hire personal branding experts to help you, what you’re often paying for is a static document that tells you what your brand should look and sound like
- If you’re yet to overcome your imposter syndrome or fear of being seen, it’s highly unlikely a document like that is going to give you what you need
- What makes you magnetic is who you are as a person. And the more you’re connected to your unique brilliance & your sense of purpose, the more magnetic you become
- 90% of the work involved in creating personal brand magnetism is “inner work”, with your active involvement – Magnetic Motion – being the non-negotiable ingredient
- Material Magnetism is great and helpful, but can’t create magnetism where there is none and is only ever going to be able to amplify what exists
Contemplation questions to determine your next steps
Pull out your favourite note-taking device or tools and have a think about the following…
- If you’re currently looking for professional support to build your personal brand, what is it specifically that you’re hoping it will provide? Clarity? A confidence boost? To save you time or remove the need to do your own marketing?
- What goals do you have for your personal brand? For instance, are you trying to grow an audience, attract clients or brand deals, position yourself for a new role…?
- How important is it for you to achieve this/these things?
- What are you prepared to invest (practically, financially, energetically) in order to give yourself the best chance of success?
- How magnetic do you feel right now? Specifcally…
- As a person? (Inner Magnetism)
- As a “brand”? (Outer Magnetism)
These obviously only scratch the surface of what we need to assess in terms of your own action plan for building a personal brand. But good news: I created something (free!) that will allow you to go even deeper.
Take the What’s Muting Your Magnetism? assessment to get a detailed breakdown of how magnetic you are in all 5.5 areas we’ve been talking about today.
If you have any questions about what you’ve read, shoot me an email or feel free to DM me on LinkedIn or Instagram. I’m always happy to chat!
