Is what you’re having a divine spark of inspiration or a dangerous distraction? When we’re in the middle of the dark forest, it can be really hard to tell the difference. But in this episode, we are going to break it all down.

You’ve overcome overwhelm. You’ve silenced the voice of self-doubt. You’ve committed to a path and started putting one foot in front of the other. But then, mid-journey, you see a spark. A glimmer. A new possibility that wasn’t there before. A new platform, a new strategy, a new influencer doing something you didn’t know was possible. And suddenly, the path you’re on feels dull. Slow. Wrong.

Is this new spark the universe redirecting you? Or is it a will-o-wisp leading you astray into the bog?

Welcome to one of the most challenging monsters in the dark forest—the one that doesn’t look like a monster at all.

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The Cliff’s Notes

Core Themes:

• The will-o-wisp represents shiny object syndrome and the dangerous distractions that pull us off our committed path
• Dopamine hits from new projects fade quickly, leading us to chase the next spark rather than endure the slow progress phase
• The Dunning-Kruger effect explains why we start confident, crash into despair, and want to abandon ship
• Underneath distraction is often unprocessed fear of failure, rejection, or disappointment
• The King archetype and the seed symbol teach us about commitment, patience, and the long game

Key Takeaways:

1. Recognize the dopamine trap: New projects give us a high. When that fades and progress slows, we crave another hit. This isn’t weakness—it’s chemistry.
2. Understand the Dunning-Kruger curve: You start at the peak of Mount Stupid (false confidence), crash into the Valley of Despair (overwhelm), and slowly climb to mastery. Most people quit in the valley.
3. Identify unprocessed trauma: If you’ve had a painful launch, rejection, or failure in the past, your body may be sabotaging your current project to protect you from experiencing that pain again.
4. Ask the discernment question: Did you already commit to something that once felt right? If this new spark is pulling you off that path, it’s likely a distraction, not divine guidance.
5. Honor the seed metaphor: Every seed requires fertile ground, water, sunlight, and most importantly, time. You can’t see growth happening underground, but abandoning it before it sprouts means you’ll never see the tree.

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Want a personalized Mythic Map of your own hero’s journey? That’s why I created Mythic Journey.

Your Gene Keys profile reimagined as a literal map that will reveal your most challenging internal obstacles to overcome, protective patterns to disrupt, and the gifts that are waiting for you on the other side. Over the course of 75+ minutes (in a pre-recorded video you can watch over and over again), I’ll operate as your very own guide as we weave the new narrative for what you’re being called to and how to step into your full potential.

Intrigued and want to know more? Click here for all the deets!

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Meet the Will-o-Wisp: The Foolish Fire

We are now deep in the dark forest, and we are coming across our next monster, which doesn’t actually look like a monster at all.

Have you ever heard of the will-o-wisp?

In mythology, this was also known as the ignis fatuus—foolish fire. These were ghostly lights that appear over bogs and swamps and marshes at night. In the actual mythology, these will-o-wisps are portrayed as mischievous or malevolent spirits that deliberately lead travelers astray.

In the context of where we’re at in this story, think about what happens when you’re in a dark forest, but you have found a path and you’re putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe there’s a little bit of a slog. You’re at that stage of a project where it feels a little bit difficult, and yet you’re committed to it.

But then you have this spark. Or at least you see a spark and you’re like, “Hang on. What is this thing that I didn’t notice before?”

Depending on what it is that you are walking through right now, that could be the form of:

• A new social media platform
• A new tool
• A new strategy
• Discovering some influencer or thought leader who you’re like, “Wow, I didn’t know this was possible. Oh, look at what they’re doing.”

Very often this spark leads to us going down a little bit of a rabbit hole. Or in keeping with this particular metaphor, it can get you stuck in a bog.

This is one of the biggest challenges for anyone that is embarking on something new. And there are a few reasons why it is so darn tricky.

The Dopamine Trap

The first thing is that when we are doing something new, there is often a hit of dopamine at the beginning that gets us really excited about what it is that we’re doing. That dopamine often keeps coming when we are learning new things, when we’re being challenged, when there’s that shiny object.

That obviously can’t last forever.

Because the fact is that when we are building anything, it takes time. And there are going to be phases, especially early on after that shiny object shimmer is gone, where it feels like all we’re doing is outputting. All we’re doing is slogging away, doing the work, and yet there is nothing to show for it.

There is often—it feels like another dark void kind of period. But what it is, is just the delay between us initiating something and then seeing some results.

When the Dopamine Fades

When we’re in that phase, we then start craving more dopamine. And this is where sometimes we might just find ourselves reaching for our phones, reaching for any source of dopamine that we can find.

And that’s one thing. That’s already a form of procrastination. And just know that there’s a chemical thing going on here. In fact, there’s a book called Stolen Focus that talks about how we’ve literally been trained to crave this and to need constant stimulation.

Know that this isn’t just weakness on your part. This isn’t failure on your part. There is something—not stronger than you, but there is a very strong force that’s trying to play out. And when we’re not aware of it, we actually kind of keep feeding it.

So one way is that distraction and the short-term putting off the discomfort of the lack of results.

The Search for a Different Solution

But then the other thing that often happens is that we look for a completely different solution.

For instance, people can get really excited about launching a podcast. They are so hyped when they’re creating the artwork and coming up with the names and outlining some episodes. And for everyone, it’s a little bit of a different time where this kicks in.

For some people, they might already start to get really frustrated and lacking dopamine while they’re in the planning stage, while they’re outlining episodes. For others, maybe it’s after you’ve started publishing the podcast and you only have a few listeners and you’re getting very little feedback and there’s no reviews.

Whatever that point is for you, that is often when we look for the other thing.

“Hold on, everyone’s talking about YouTube” or “Everyone’s saying that LinkedIn is where it’s at” or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then we start looking for this other solution that promises the things that we’re not getting right now.

But the fact is, obviously it’s going to be the same thing all over again. There is no ideal platform. There is no perfect solution for what we’re trying to do. There is only the one that’s most aligned with us personally, and the only way it works is if we stick with it in the long run and we keep finding ways to optimize it.

So thing number one is the dopamine hunt.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect

The next challenge is what is called the Dunning-Kruger effect, which you might have heard of.

What happens with the Dunning-Kruger effect is that they’ve studied how when we first begin something—anything—we start on a new niche that we’re wanting to get into, a new subject matter, a new project, whatever that is, we start at the peak of what they call Mount Stupid.

But what they’re really talking about is we are filled with this false sense of confidence about what we’re doing and this optimism that is from a place of ignorance. Not ignorance like stupidity, but just not knowing all there is to know. There is so much that we don’t know that we actually think we know more than we do.

So when we start out, we are kind of inflated and we’re like, “Yes, I’m gonna kill it. This is gonna be amazing.”

The Crash into the Valley of Despair

Then as we start on whatever it is we’re doing, we learn more and more about that topic, that platform, that project, and we realize, “Whoa, there is so much that I don’t know.”

We can very quickly become disheartened, overwhelmed, feeling a little crushed. Our egos can be hurt a little.

And if you look at the graphic that you’ll often find if you Google the Dunning-Kruger effect, you’ll see that before long we end up in the Valley of Despair.

And this Valley of Despair is when it really now feels impossible. We’ve gone from feeling unstoppable to like nothing is possible. How are we ever going to do it?

Now we’re actually at the bottom of—they call it a valley, but also it’s that feeling when you feel like you’re standing at the bottom of the mountain and you’re looking at this giant mountain ahead of you and going, “How the hell am I going to scale that? This is impossible.”

The Slow Climb to Mastery

The key for us to overcome this is going to be slow progress. Step after step. We learn new things, we develop skills.

And where there was an initial crash—from the peak of Mount Stupid to the Valley of Despair, almost like a straight vertical decline where we go from the heights to the depths—the way that we then get back up to the next peak, which is really this place of mastery, embodied wisdom, is a slow incline.

It is slow progress because it’s practical. It’s about learning skills, gaining knowledge, practicing, receiving feedback, one foot in front of the other.

But that is the slow part.

The quick part is finding the new thing, ending up at this peak, being all excited, crashing, and then being like, “Oh, I do not like feeling like a beginner. I don’t like feeling stupid. I don’t enjoy being overwhelmed. I’m going to have to find the next thing.”

The Direct Correlation

It’s very similar to—there’s a direct correlation with the dopamine peak and the peak of Mount Stupid. We can have both of them playing out at the same time.

And the solution for both is the same: the fact is, if we can get past that initial high and then the crash that follows, and we can start making real progress and find ways that finishing things, believe it or not, actually gives us a hit of dopamine.

So if we can start to set more goals that are connected to things that we can control—as opposed to the number of listeners, downloads, reviews, whatever—but it’s actually like, “Okay, I’m setting a goal, I’m gonna get ten episodes out. Okay, now my next goal is fifty episodes. One hundred episodes.”

We’re gonna start to give ourselves beautiful little hits of dopamine that come from something we can control, and then that will gain in strength.

With both of these things, it’s really important to know—there’s the awareness, first, of what is coming and what is playing out. And to not buy into what the squirrel mind or the ego is telling you, which is, “Oh, this is the wrong thing because it’s slow progress. Let’s go find another thing.”

No, do not do that. That is the will-o-wisp at play.

The Deeper Fear Underneath It All

But the real reason—the deeper reason underneath all of this—that we get distracted by these little sparks that send us off in other directions, trying other things, getting caught up in obsessing over pretty graphics in Canva, or becoming obsessive around finding the perfect domain name and then hoarding domain names and getting excited about them and not actually having a project attached to them—all of that.

The real thing is that once we get into a certain point in our project, our commitment, putting ourselves out there in some way, what really kicks in eventually is the reality: we have this fear of failure, a fear of potentially being rejected when we put ourselves out there, a fear of the disappointment that could follow.

If we do something, we put something out in the world, and then it doesn’t live up to the standards. It doesn’t live up to our own expectations.

All of these fears are what really are driving us underneath everything. Often, if we haven’t done the work, if we haven’t come face to face with them, if we haven’t integrated those shadows, this is where—and this is where there’s a personal call-out coming.

A Personal Example: Launch Trauma

There have been times in the past when first getting into online course creation. After a very first launch, which did lead to a huge amount of disappointment—mostly because of completely unrealistic expectations, among other things—there was so much about that first big course launch that was not right. It was a totally different subject matter. It was not the thing that was supposed to be done.

But after that, the disappointment was remembered. The fear of what happened when all that time and all that money had been spent, putting all eggs in one basket, thinking that with a successful launch, there would be financial security and the ability to keep moving forward and do all these other amazing things.

When the reality kicked in that the launch happened and there wasn’t the money, being left with an empty bank account, having given up a lot of client work at the time—it was really quite traumatic.

Then what happened is the body remembered that. That was locked into cellular memory.

And so every time there was trying to launch something in the future, even if so many things about that launch were different—for instance, the next calling had been found, now talking about personal branding, something that felt a lot more aligned, approaching the launch differently—it didn’t matter.

The body remembered the trauma of that first launch.

And once getting to this certain point in the launch—often it was about halfway through, although sometimes it was earlier on, about a quarter of the way through—this panic would seize and the subconscious would take over and start to come up with all these reasons why the plan needed to be aborted.

So instead of seeing through the launch, there was stopping writing emails, stopping sending emails, stopping talking about the launch. It was like, “Oh, actually, jokes. I wasn’t quite ready.” And all of these reasons would get there to be avoiding finishing the thing that had been committed to, because bearing to experience that same crushing disappointment all over again felt impossible.

The Pattern Across Clients

This has been seen play out time and time again with clients. Launch-related trauma is a huge thing in the online space because there has historically been such an unhealthy teaching around it, where people go all in on launches and they are very unsustainable.

Because they take over your entire life, you work in this way that’s pouring everything into it for multiple months and then running out of money in the meantime, and then needing the next launch to be really successful, and then rinse and repeat. You just get stuck on this hamster wheel.

But the point is that once we have had some sort of bad experience when it comes to anything that could feel similar to something else we’re doing, the body remembers.

It might not be launching for you. It might be getting all the way through with job interviews and then getting to the very end and getting down to the final two, and then finding out you didn’t actually get it.

What might happen is if that was so painful for you, and you never really faced those feelings, the next time you’re in a similar position—for instance, in interviewing for jobs—you might find ways to start pulling yourself out of the process early or already justifying all the reasons, “Oh, this is probably not the right job for me anyway. So you know what? I’m just going to phone it in.”

Because deep down, you don’t want to have poured everything into it and then still not got the job. Because it sucks. Let’s be real. It sucks.

How to Tell the Difference: Divine Spark vs. Dangerous Distraction

So this episode began talking about how it’s really challenging at times to discern the difference between a divine spark of inspiration or a dangerous distraction.

And where we can actually tell the difference—because on the surface it can often feel like the same thing. When we go, “Oh my God, this is the thing. This is the thing I’m supposed to be doing” at the very beginning of a project, it can feel very similar to the thing that happens in the middle of the project that makes us want to pivot.

So it’s not the surface level thing that’s going to give us a clue that we are really getting shiny object syndrome, or will-o-wisp syndrome.

The Discernment Questions

The way that we’re really going to know it is:

1. Had you already committed to something that at one point did feel like the right thing and you started taking steps towards it?

And now this spark of inspiration is actually risking pulling you off the path and onto another path?

2. Do you have some unprocessed trauma?

And this can sound big. This isn’t necessarily talking about big-T trauma, but the fact is, our bodies just know that something is traumatic and it doesn’t matter what the thing was that actually happened to us. If our body remembers it as painful in some way—and very often emotional pain can be more painful than physical pain because physical pain goes away, but emotional pain can stay in our bodies.

If there is something that you are holding on to that hasn’t been processed, is there a chance that that is the thing that is sparking—supposedly sparking—some inspiration and wanting to send you elsewhere?

The real way that we become discerning here is being able to look at ourselves and know what is the true motivation behind this.

And know that there can also be a “yes, and” situation. Sometimes that spark of inspiration could be a wonderful thing. It could be leading you to something that is going to be really great for you.

It’s a matter of timing.

The Red Flag of Urgency

If you are feeling some sense of urgency—”Oh, I need to drop what I’m doing and do this thing now because there’s some sort of FOMO or what if the inspiration goes away?”—that is a red flag as well.

And so this is where it’s really important to have an idea holding cell.

When there are ideas that feel potentially exciting but aren’t related to the thing that’s already being done, they can be noted somewhere. “Okay, these are penciled in. I love the idea of this and I’m going to circle back to this once I’ve seen through this current thread that I’m on.”

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Want a personalized Mythic Map of your own hero’s journey? That’s why I created Mythic Journey.

Your Gene Keys profile reimagined as a literal map that will reveal your most challenging internal obstacles to overcome, protective patterns to disrupt, and the gifts that are waiting for you on the other side. Over the course of 75+ minutes (in a pre-recorded video you can watch over and over again), I’ll operate as your very own guide as we weave the new narrative for what you’re being called to and how to step into your full potential.

Intrigued and want to know more? Click here for all the deets!

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Activation & Contemplation

For you now to walk away and start really contemplating this and really being able to do some pattern spotting—maybe looking back, seeing what’s played out in the past, but more importantly, just taking responsibility moving forward—there is an archetype and a symbol.

Your Archetype to Activate: The King

The archetype that helps us in this situation is actually the King.

Which is like, whoa, really, we need to bring in someone that powerful?

But the point is that the King’s responsibility is to the kingdom. His job is to oversee everything and to look at: What does the kingdom truly need right now?

Are people hungry? Is there enough food in storage? Are we going to be able to get through the winter? Are people happy? Is there anything wrong? Are there issues with the kingdom?

The King then is going to make sure that those needs are met first. And he’s not just going off and buying new clothes for himself.

The King helps us really discern what is truly important for the kingdom. What are the commitments that I have already made?

And while the King holds this beautiful vision for the kingdom, this potential of what’s possible, he knows that for us to achieve any sort of vision and to get to a place where our kingdom is flourishing, there is going to be mundane actions that are required.

We have to be really practical about what it takes.

For you, it’s really looking at: Okay, what do I actually need to attend to right now?

And knowing that while that vision is beautiful and the vision is the thing that we’re moving towards, for us to bring anything into manifestation—as in to take something from being a vision or a dream or a fantasy and making it real—we have to take steps in the real world, and they often involve a bit of a grind, putting one foot in front of the other.

Your Symbol: The Seed

There’s a second symbol to contemplate, and it actually relates to what was being talked about with the grain and the food.

But the symbol is the seed.

The seed represents something new, but the seed is all about what it takes for that seed to then become something meaningful.

A seed on its own is not much. Basically, the seed represents potential, it represents future possibilities. Within that seed is the blueprint of the tree that it will one day become.

But how is it going to become a tree?

We know that a seed requires:

• Fertile ground
• A certain amount of sunlight
• A certain amount of water

And every seed is different. Depending on the seed and what kind of tree you’re growing, it’s going to require different ingredients to get there. The minerals in the ground need to be different.

And aside from those ingredients, the most important ingredient with a seed is time.

The Challenge of Caring for What We Can’t See

Think about seeds. If you’ve ever done any gardening, you’ll know this. Often when we plant a seed, there is then a quite an extended period of time where we see absolutely nothing. There is nothing poking up through the ground.

Once it becomes a little seedling, obviously it’s easier for us to nurture it. We see it right there in front of us. We see if it looks thirsty, we see if it’s wilting and we want to care for it.

But one of the most difficult things to do is care for a seed when we can’t see that it’s actually growing, when we don’t see anything working.

And that’s when we are often most tempted to abandon it.

Your Practice: What Stage Is Your Seed At?

Whatever it is that you’re working on right now is a seed.

Have a think for yourself: What stage of growth is it at?

Is it in the ground with nothing poking through? Has it sprouted? Has it turned into a little mini tree? Is it a sapling at this point?

Because again, depending on what stage it gets to, it’ll need different amounts of attention from you.

And this is something beautiful to keep in mind too. Yes, when we are first growing something, it requires a lot of extra attention. Just like with a baby. And it can feel like it takes up all of our time and energy, and we’re not really getting much back.

But eventually—going back to the tree metaphor—once we get past that seed being a sapling and it becomes an actual tree, it is going to require a lot less from you. It becomes a lot more self-sustaining because what you have done is helped those roots go so deep into the ground that it’s able to pull up its own nourishment. It’s gotten so tall that it’s easy for the sunlight to reach it.

The Reward of Commitment

The rewards on the other side of this growth cycle are just so great.

But if we keep abandoning our poor little seed or our sapling or whatever stage it’s at to plant another one because we think, “Oh no, this is the one,” we never get any of those results. We don’t get any of those benefits.

And so this is where the importance of: just pick the one thing and allow it to grow, pour into it.

Because it really doesn’t matter. Any seed can grow if it has the right conditions and if it’s given enough time. And any of the things that you’re doing could give you everything that you’re hoping for.

Now, obviously, there is still an important process in choosing the thing at the very beginning. But the main thing is, assuming at this point you’ve picked something and it checks enough of the boxes, at least in theory, the only way it becomes the truly right thing for you is if you see it through and you commit to the process of also bettering it and adapting it to your own needs.

Because just because you’ve committed to this new pathway—whether it’s a podcast, whether it’s a particular role—does not mean you need to just do it the way everyone else is doing it.

You’re going to make it more sustainable and better fitted for you if you take the time to really look at what needs to change and really play the long game with this.

Your Pattern Recognition

At this point, hopefully you have developed a little bit more awareness around maybe where you have been tainted by those will-o-wisps, and you can look honestly at your own past behavior and go, “Yep, there were some times that I abandoned what I was doing because it felt more exciting or appealing for me to go in another direction.”

But wherever you’re at right now, hopefully now you can see that whatever it is that you’re trying to build and grow is a precious seed that deserves your attention.

How Your Gene Keys Profile Reveals Your Pattern

And the final piece: one of the things most loved about the Gene Keys, when we look at the lines of our profile and of all of our placements really in our chart, is that it can help us see what our default pattern is.

For instance, knowing that the line three has an avoidant pattern—so often is going to run away. That fear of failure tends to be really strong with a line three, whereas:

• The fear of rejection is the fear of the line four
• A fear of disappointing others is the line five
• A fear of disappointing themselves, being disappointed, is the line six

And so once we get more familiar with our own charts and therefore our own patterns, it also gets a lot easier to see them playing out in real time, because our minds can’t keep convincing us that this is a strategic move, this is a logical move.

You can’t unsee it. Now you go, “Hmm, yep, that is me. That is me avoiding something.”

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Want a personalized Mythic Map of your own hero’s journey? That’s why I created Mythic Journey.

If you are wanting more insights on your own chart and the patterns that are likely playing out, you can absolutely go and get your free profile from the Gene Keys.

And remember that that is also what the mythic journey is all about, where a seventy-to-ninety-minute personalized journey is put together revealing what’s being seen in terms of potential default patterns, the obstacles that might need to be overcome, as well as the gifts that are actually lying—often dormant—in those shadows that need integrating.

Intrigued and want to know more? Click here for all the deets!

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